Recombination
by Bein Non
Summary: A accident in an abandoned Cobra lab adds some interesting twists in the war between Beach Head and Lady Jaye.


Duke bellowed out orders to his team. Cobra had given them a good fight, but it was all but over now. The Cobra troops had retreated from most of the base, leaving the halls and rooms unoccupied. As Flint's team drove back the last of the soldiers, Duke ordered a small team to sweep the building.

Lady Jaye and Beach Head followed Roadblock and Gung-Ho. They divided into pairs at the first hallway intersection. The gunner and marine headed off in separate directions, leaving the other two to check the rooms in that section of the enemy base.

"I can't believe I'm being paired with you again," Lady Jaye said irritably.

"Yeah, well, it's not a party for me either," Beach Head replied. "Intelligence my ass," he muttered under his breath. He kicked open the first closed door, but the room was empty.

"Well, at least I'm smart enough to open a stick of deodorant," Jaye shot back as she went to the side of another door so that she could cover while Beach Head opened it.

The ranger snorted and ducked into the room. He gave it a quick scan, but it, too, was empty. He turned to leave, but Lady Jaye stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"This was a lab. Let's check it out," she told him. "We need to report on everything we find."

Jaye followed him into the lab, taking one side of the room as he took the other. The counters were covered with random bits of electrical equipment in various states of disrepair. Lady Jaye picked up a large piece with wires dangling from the sides. "I wonder what they were building here," she said.

"I'd rather not find out, if it's all the same. Let's leave it to Mainframe and Airtight."

"Beach Head, where's your sense of adventure?" Lady Jaye teased.

He shook his head in disgust and turned to leave, but his elbow knocked against a device sitting precariously on the counter. They both instinctively dove to catch it before it hit the floor.

Their foreheads hit with a loud crack. The device hit the floor with a loud crash, followed by a flash of bright light. A boom could be heard outside the building.

Duke's head snapped up when he heard the sound. He grabbed his radio and tried to contact the four team members inside the base.

There was too much static. After a few desperate seconds, Duke called in Flint, Airtight, and Short Fuse. "Get in there and check it out. Don't take any chances. We'll finish up here and join you inside if it's safe."

Flint nodded, grim faced, and took his team inside of the base.

Lady Jaye lay partially covered by rubble. She shook her head to clear it and looked around. She couldn't see Beach Head anywhere, and her body felt strange.

Beach Head opened his eyes and looked for Lady Jaye, but couldn't find her. He tried to move but his body felt weaker than he remembered. He brushed pieces of masonry from his shoulders and looked around the ruined lab. Whatever had caused the explosion had taken down a good part of the wall. "Lady Jaye!" He yelled. He jumped and looked behind him, but that part of the room was empty. He could have sworn she had yelled right next to him.

Something wasn't right. Lady Jaye tried to wipe her face, but there was something over her head. She ripped at the cloth and finally pulled it off. It was Beach Head's mask. _What is that doing on my head?_ She wondered. She looked down at the mask held in her hands. Her hands! Those weren't her hands! Her jaw dropped open as she turned her hands and looked at the long fingers, wide palms, and square, dirty fingernails. "Beach!" Jaye called out again in a gruff-sounding voice that was not her own.

Beach Head checked himself for injuries, but his hands encountered things that should definitely not be there. He ran his hands up and down his body. Only it wasn't his body. Some parts were definitely softer, while other parts had unusual curves. He brain didn't want to comprehend what must be happening.

Lady Jaye pushed up on the rubble covering her, and for some reason found that she more powerful than normal. She got out from under the rubble and yelled for Beach Head again.

The ranger was certain now that he heard his own voice calling for him. He walked around the large pile of brick and broken concrete, and stopped short. Rising from the rubble was...himself.

Lady Jaye turned around to find Beach Head and stopped, staring at what appeared to be an exact duplicate of herself standing a short way from her.

"What the Hell...?" they said in unison.

They spent a few moments simply looking at each other, unable to believe what they saw. "We've got to be dreaming." Lady Jaye finally said.

Beach Head reached out and poked his body in the chest. "This isn't a dream, it's a nightmare!"

"HEY!" Jaye yelled at him. "This is your fault, whatever is going on."

"You're in my body..." Beach Head looked down at the feminine form he now occupied. "This can not be happening."

Jaye ran her hands down her flat chest then down to her groin area and felt a slight bulge. "OH GOD!"

"Don't touch that!" Beach Head screamed.

"Why not?" Jaye yelled back at him. "It's mine now," she smirked, "And easy to miss anyway."

They looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps. Roadblock ran into the room, a look of relief crossing his features. "Beach, Jaye, you two okay?"

"Yeah," they both said together.

Beach Head crossed his arms over his chest, a habitual gesture that was now extremely unfamiliar and uncomfortable.

Lady Jaye stood there with her hands on her hips looking haughtily at Beach Head.

Roadblock looked from one to the other, noting the looks the pair were throwing at each other. "You sure you two didn't get knocked on the heads?"

"If only it were that simple," Beach Head replied, clearing his throat. It was very disconcerting to speak with a woman's voice.

"Yeah. Let's just get the Hell out of here." Jaye said, feeling really weirded out to be talking with a man's voice.

Roadblock cocked his head. "Why are you two talking so funny?" he asked. "Lady Jaye, you've got a southern accent..."

"She's just trying to get on my nerves," Jaye said and waved her hands dismissively—something Beach Head would never do.

Roadblock shook his head. "A team is probably on the way to investigate the explosion. You two should get checked out by Lifeline. Let's go."

"No way." Jaye said. She was notorious for hating doctors; though Lifeline and Doc were her friends, she still didn't like to go see them on a professional basis.

Beach Head didn't move either. Whatever had caused this was still in the lab. He desperately began digging in the rubble, looking for the machine that had fallen off the counter. There was no sign of it.

"It's here somewhere," Jaye told him. "Try by the counter over there that's left standing."

"Damn. Where did it go?" Beach Head felt a moment of panic, followed by a sharp pain at the end of a finger. "Shit. I broke a nail." He clapped a hand over his mouth. Did he just say that? "We've gotta find that machine."

Roadblock put a hand on his shoulder. "Want to tell me what's going on?"

Lady Jaye went over to Beach Head and kicked him in the shin. "Be more careful, you stupid idiot." She growled, totally ignoring Roadblock.

"Well then don't kick yourself!" Beach Head yelled back.

"If you weren't in my body I would rip your head off!" Jaye yelled at him.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?" Roadblock shouted at top volume.

Lady Jaye turned and looked at Roadblock. "You wouldn't believe us."

Beach Head nodded, feeling the odd sensation of hair moving at the gesture.

He ran a hand through his now longer locks. "That machine of Cobra's...It--"

"Switched us." Jaye finished.

Roadblock opened his mouth to reply, but never got the chance. Flint and Gung Ho rushed into the room, followed by the team of bomb, machine, and toxin experts. The warrant officer ran to Lady Jaye and placed his hands on her shoulders. He brushed a smudge of dirt from her face and looked her over for injuries. "Are you alright?" he asked with concern.

Beach Head jumped back. "Get the Hell off of me!"

Lady Jaye looked from Flint to Beach Head, feeling her anger rise. "I'm over here!"

Flint creased his brows. "Is that a joke, Beach Head? It's not very funny."

Beach Head punched him in the shoulder and pointed at his body. "THAT is your girlfriend. I'm Beach Head." He shook a warning finger under Flint's nose. "Don't even think about touching me. Or her."

Flint looked completely lost. He turned toward what appeared to be Beach Head with a questioning glance.

Jaye grinned and walked over to Flint and kissed him passionately on the lips. Flint backed away so quickly he nearly fell to the floor. He wiped his mouth, eyes wide and confused. "Beach Head! What is wrong with you?"

"I'M NOT BEACH HEAD! YOU THINK I LIKE SMELLING LIKE A BACKED-UP SEWER ON A 110 DEGREE SUMMER DAY!" Jaye yelled at him.

Beach Head's low growl forced the room into silence. "Flint, a machine in this room did something to us. I am Beach Head, and that's Jaye. Unfortunately it's not a joke." He gave Lady Jaye a menacing glare. "If you do that again, you'll get your body back in little tiny pieces."

"I'm really Lady Jaye, Flint." Jaye said. She felt the sudden urge to scratch herself and fought to keep it under control.

Beach Head bent and continued to dig in the rubble. "And the faster we find the machine, the faster I can get the Hell out of this damn body! God, how do you manage?"

Jaye turned and looked at Beach Head. "Watch what you say about my body, you stupid smelly ape."

"Smelly? At least I don't reek like a flower shop!" He raised a fist, but froze. A small smile came over his face. "Tell you what—you stop with the insults and I'll do my best not to break anything while I'm in here."

Jaye clamped her mouth shut before she said what she wanted to say. "Deal."

Mainframe leaned over toward his companions. "Either they're telling the truth, or there is a serious gas leak in this room."

Short Fuze looked around in fear. "You don't think it could happen to us?"

"That would be kinda cool," Airtight said, taking out a small radiometer from his pocket.

"At least someone believes us." Jaye said. "How about you try switching bodies with Shipwreck," Jaye shot at Airtight.

The man grinned. "No, thanks. I think I'll stick with the body I've got. He does have a nice head of hair, though," he muttered, moving around the room.

Mainframe shook his head. "What did this machine look like?" he asked as they all began pulling at the debris on the floor.

"It looked like a sub-woofer," Jaye said with a shrug.

After a few minutes of concentrated digging, Roadblock pulled a mangled box out of the rubble. "Is this it?" he asked. One side of the box was smashed in, and several components looked to be missing completely.

"That _was_ it," Beach Head sighed.

Mainframe took the box. "I might be able to fix it," he said. "In a few days, anyway."

"Diabhal!" Jaye cursed in Gaelic. "A few days! Please tell me you're kidding?"

"Nope. The main pieces are here, but I need to rewire it and maybe rework it a bit." Mainframe looked around the room. "Better pack it all up, just in case."

Beach Head swore. "This can't get any worse." Then he realized it could. He turned to Lady Jaye. "I've gotta pee," he told her.

"Dmanu!" Jaye cursed again.


End file.
